i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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