i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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