office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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