last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there was a trapeze. enough said
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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