You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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