I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
