just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i out mim tonsoeep
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