I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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