She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
