So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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