smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
