And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
