Apparently you make a good broom.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
