i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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