whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
