Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
