Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
