I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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