I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
