I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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