dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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