This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
