the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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