dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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