is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
