You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
