wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Of course heβs picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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