so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
