before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
