Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
