Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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