But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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