I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
