Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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