Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
its not stalking. its research.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
