Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
