i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
this boner is exhausting
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
