ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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