no. you can't hotbox the world.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
