If i come over, it means nothing
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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