I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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