I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
