we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
