so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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