the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
