i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
