I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
