haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
