i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
