i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
