i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
