My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
